Sunday, 23 February 2020

Airstrip One to Buy its Nukes from Oceania

Furious Brits have accused their government of being a lapdog for Washington, after it was inadvertently revealed that the UK had quietly inked a nuclear weapons deal with the US, forgoing public debate.

The Pentagon recently disclosed that Britain has agreed to purchase new US nuclear warheads to replace Trident, its own homegrown nuclear program. However, the deal came as a surprise to British lawmakers, who were reportedly kept in the dark about the nuclear weapons.

The agreement, which involves the US sharing the technology used in its W93 sea-launched warhead, is expected to cost billions of pounds.

A spokesperson for the ministry of defense declined to go into detail about the deal, stating only that Britain has a “strong defense relationship with the US” and remains committed to having nuclear capabilities compatible with US technology.

While some hailed the secretive deal as necessary to ensure NATO’s nuclear deterrence capabilities, the move was blasted by opposition parties. Ed Davey, acting leader of the Liberal Democrats, said it was outrageous that the pricey tech transfer was being carried out with “zero consultation and zero scrutiny.

He blasted the Tory government, arguing that “Johnson increasingly looks like putty in Trump’s hands.

MP Stewart McDonald, who serves as the Scottish National Party’s spokesperson for defense, said that Defense Minister Ben Wallace should face Parliament and answer for the secrecy behind the deal. Fellow SNP member Douglas Chapman cautioned the US and UK against “spending too much time” on the deal, claiming Scotland would soon gain its independence.

A Green Party official expressed similar disillusionment, describing the incident as an example of “how it feels to live in a failed democracy.

Similar views were aired on social media.

“We really are the 51st state of America,”lamented one Twitter user.

Another comment argued that, in the eyes of the US military, the UK is little more than a “static aircraft carrier” to be used for its own purposes.

Others jokingly suggested that the secretive program was nothing out of the ordinary.

That's the price of [a] ‘special relationship’!”, read one reply, referring to the fabled close bilateral ties between Washington and London.



  1. Develop your own dirty infrastructure! Nothing says "I love nukes" like a pit-9 @ INEL.

  2. After WWII we did. I'm not sure what happened to it though!

  3. Britain even had the infamous reputation of having developed the most powerful fission bomb EVAH!

  4. I'm sure that they dumped all that nuclear waste in the ocean, or some pit in a former colony (like ours).

  5. That way they never had to pay the "socialized" cost. Privatize gains, socialize losses is their motto!